All I Ever Needed to Know....

I had the most educating trip last weekend. The first life lesson I picked up was this:
When you step on an airplane (or anywhere, I'll bet) and your coworker tells you, "I am the most laid back flight attendant you will ever work with." Well, he/she is simply not telling the truth. The most laid back flight attendant doesn't have to tell you!

Next, and probably more important... is don't throw down an attitude and think you will get your way. I mean pooh said it best, "you catch more flies with honey." At least I think it was Pooh. I encounted THE BIGGEST JERK OF A MAN (and his bitchy wife) on the way to Seattle. I have a feeling BJ is going to write a mean letter about his experience, and all I can respond is this. I wish I could write a letter about HIM!

I also met a very nice lady, that I talked with for an hour on the way to SEA. Everyone else was asleep... NL was sitting next to BJ. Poor Nice Lady, she probably wanted to move, but there were no open seats.

The last lesson, and I try hard not to be judgemental about this, but grown adults should shower everyday, and wear antipersperant. I know some cultures might differ, some folks might just not want to mess with it, but if you are going on a 4+ hour ride on an airplane in the summer... For the love of God, shower first! BO is not really a big problem. By big I mean widespread, but when it is onboard, everyone knows!

Well, I know I learned a few things. I must admit I was pretty nice to BJ, but if I could meet him in a dark galley... I mean alley...... :)

shove, shove, crush, crush
My bag must fit, I am in a rush.
It is overpacked and an inch too long
I must prove that flight attendant all wrong.

I know I can make it fit in the little bin
everyone is watching me. I MUST WIN...
Here she comes, she will take it away
she will check my bag, and make me pay.

Off it goes, my big fat bag.
She gave me half of it's claim tag.
I will get it back when I get to that place
Flight Attendant, wipe that snear off your face!

I guess I was wrong it just wouldn't fit.
I looked like the biggest dimwit.
Trying so hard to stuff and to shove.
It just wouldn't fit in that bin up above.

I have learned my lesson and next time I won't pack
my entire house up in one big fat sack.
I will check my belongings, even if I must pay.
Really it is just much easier that way!!!

During the summer something sad happens. Well, it happens and exists all the time, but I notice it tenfold in the summer. Kids going back and forth from mom to dad, to mom. Today on the plane I was talking a woman about my age and her daughter. The little girl was probably 4 or 5. The mom was taking her daughter to her ex-husband for the summer, and leaving her... She started crying. I started crying. It is so sad, but happens on almost every single flight during the summer. Usually the kids are alone traveling between mom and dad. So sad. Sometimes they do not want to go. Sometimes they are excited to go. I feel sad for these kids and for the parents that do not get to be with their kids all the time.

Another Drunk, Another Dollar...

I had to throw off another drunk. I guess it is this economy. ;) I mean in 9.5 years, I have had to throw of 3 people for being intoxicated. 2 in the last 2 weeks! Nuts! This guy asked me if I was a flight attendant as I was closing OHBs before departure. (you know we wear uniforms, distinct uniforms at that)... and I told him yes, I was a f/a.... He wanted a beer. I asked him if he was drunk... his response a classic, "I wanna be"!! He could hardly make it off of the plane. (even with my foot in his rear) metaphorically of course...

Well, my company has announced that they will be laying off up to 1200 flight attendants. Seems like a massive number to me. I will be getting a notice to furlough this week. I need 123 people to take leaves in order to keep my job. Can you imagine, 9.5 years in a company entirely based on seniority, and I am in danger of losing my job. On this note (sorta) the average age of a flight attendant is 48.6. I am 16 years younger than the average! My my, it makes me feel so young. When/if they ever start hiring again, and I am alongside 20 year olds I will not know what to do....

I am off for a few weeks, mom is having her surgery... Next month= reserve. Lots of neat stories then, I am sure!

Thursday night on my last flight of the day, a drunk woman gets on. Now, I did not sniff her out, nor did she scream or fall on me. Another lovely passenger told us she was drunk. So, I go after her in the aisle trying to get a whiff of some whiskey or something... NOPE, can't smell her, guess she was drinking vodka. Anyways, the number 1 (first class flight attendant) told me to go and see if I thought she was drunk. After talking to her, I call the number 1 from the back and say, "yes, she is toasted." I go back over to the drunk and decide that she is nice and would probably be no threat on the 43 minute flight, and maybe she is not drunk, she might just have a strange speech issue. I mean no offense, but we were going to Arkansas, here....
No dice, she was drunk the agent came on and took her off kicking and screaming. I just waved bye bye, and went to Arkansas! Lesson of this story, DO NOT GET DRUNK AND TRY TO GET ON A PLANE. IT IS AGAINST THE FAA REGULATIONS!

Bring Your Friend to Work Day

My last trip was Friday- Sunday with a (what turned into) 36 hour layover in Memphis. These layovers are normally not my favorite since I am alone in a strange city and can not do the stuff I need to do. I mean, if I am going to have a day off, I want to be at home!! This trip was different. My friend, Jenny, came along from DFW-MEM on Friday night, spent the 2 nights with me and then came back Sunday. It was so much fun to go down to Beale street and listen to music and enjoy the city. Jenny got to see what it was like being a flight attendant, too. She got to see a drunk man (he ordered red wine and vodka, and DRANK THEM TOGETHER) and then he began hitting on the other flight attendant! She got to experience standby flying, which might just be too nerve racking for her! ;) I told her that she should become a flight attendant. Probably airlines will start hiring around the time Keelan goes off to college????!?!!?

I was worried that she would laugh at me during the saftey demo, but since she was way in the back and I was way in the front, I think she couldn't see me! It made work so much fun having a friend come to work!

I have one question, and one question only. (This is amazing for me, if you know how I LOVE to ask questions!!!)

Who uses shower caps in hotels?