Tales from the Pickle

Thank God Almighty reserve is almost over!!! I do not know why, but reserve is such a perstering little month. Perhaps b/c I am a planner, and I like to know the what, when, and where of every day!

So I had standby on Sunday afternoon, which was nice b/c I was home with the family all day before work. I got called out to do a two day trip, one leg to Vegas, one leg back home. Nice. Then I got reassigned to work Vegas-JFK, then deadhead home from NYC. Still OK. That Vegas-JFK flight was a totally full 757, and we had a couple of minor celebrities, and then a faux celebrity, that was off his rocker!
This dude (nice looking by the way) gets on and is having a hissy fit about his bag. He wants me to make sure that his bag is on b/c "he plays professional baseball, and his uniforms are in that bag." He tells me how he is going from the airport to the field. Whatever........
I calm him slightly, assure him his bag and uniforms are onboard. He tries to tip me. I do not know why I said I did not take tips. I should have taken it. oh well.

He was in the first row of coach. He could not get first b/c it was full, and he "missed his private jet" UH, if you have a private jet, do they leave without you??????? doubt it.
He went up to two ladies in first and offered them 500.00 to trade seats! BOZO, get out of here. Sit down and shut it!
All this, before we are even boarded completely. Finally, we are totally full, and ready to go. Lucky me, my jumpseat is directly across from faux celeb. His name is Jay. He told me his name, but that he likes to fly under the radar. He also told me several people already recognized him on the plane. I never saw anyone recognize him at all! So, Mr. Jay, has his legs SPRAWLED OUT on my jumpseat. I mean, you need to sit up for takeoff buddy, espcially if I am having to sit here. I sit down, and he begins asking me questions. (this is common, as everyone sitting in front of the jumpseat usually starts firing away the ????) The strange thing here is... he has noise canceling headseats on so he can not hear my responses. Take off your stupid headset, if you want to converse! Instead he was just screaming, and finally I rolled my eyes, and stopped answering all together.
Dude is up and around the entire flight, asking the f/as in coach for everything, wanting to talk about his baseball career. He informed us,"he is not as big as AROD, but he is really good" remember he wants to fly under the radar??/
I forgot to tell you, he was in a hoodie, and sunglasses, always a dead giveaway for a D list or fake celeb!!

On landing, he is sitting next to a Jewish guy. Some of them, pray at certain times, and they have rituals that they do when they pray. If you have never seen this, I admit, it can be slightly surprising. So this nice little Jewish guy wrapped up his arm, and got all ready for his prayer and was PRAYING. Jay starts firing off the questions.... With his headphones on.... Dude just wants to pray in peace. This was on landing, so I was sitting there again. Jay is clueless.
Luckily, he was sidetracked and started telling me, and ( b/c of the headsets, half of the cabin) how his neighbor is anna kornikova. OK.

So, we finally get to NYC and I call my googlizer friend, tell her his name and guess what? There is no Jay Sayer in the MLB, especially the Orioles, or Reds. I forgot to tell you that he was wearing MLB socks. Goober.

Up front, we had Jamie from Mythbusters, he was very nice, and Brandon loves that show! Also, the mom from That Seventies Show. Also, very nice. Neither of them were wearing hoodies and shades!