Tales from the Pickle

Sometimes I do things and I am just thankful I am on a plane with a bunch of strangers, rather than with people who will remember and make fun... Today, I got up after take off and used the restroom. I zipped my pants, washed my hands, got my pen and went to ask the people what they wanted for lunch and to drink. A few people in, I feel something bumping against my ankle. I look down and it's my belt. I forgot to buckle up...

I counted all the people I had in first class. Then I counted how many I was SUPPOSED to have. It irritates me when people try to sneak a free seat up there (unless they're a babe). So I go out and the man I had targeted asked me for a vodka soda. I ask him where his original seat is. He points and tells me up there, still in first class. I repeat to him, where was your original seat? He tells me again. I go to examine my already examined paperwork. I had miscounted.